Mastering the Art of Discernment: A Lesson from My Dad

In a world filled with constant challenges and opportunities, the ability to discern and act strategically is indispensable. One of the greatest lessons I learned from my dad was the power of discernment and strategic action. He taught me that knowing when to engage and when to move forward is a critical skill for success.

The Wisdom of Discernment

My dad always said, "If a challenge obstructs your path and demands your voice, then speak with clarity and conviction. But if an obstacle merely drains your energy without hindering your progress, then advance past it swiftly and confidently." This wisdom empowered me to prioritize my goals and conserve my energy for meaningful battles.

A Personal Experience

When I was younger, I found myself in minor trouble. Although I felt righteous in my position, my dad didn't rescue me. Instead, he taught me that my position was not worth the fight and that I should put all my energy into walking away and creating from it. Reluctantly, I did as he advised, and I was better off for it.

My brother, on the other hand, faced a more complex situation. He was charged with theft under $5000 when three night deposit bags went missing. Despite having a witness who saw him deposit the bags at the bank, he was still charged. Recognizing this as a fight worth fighting, my dad hired a lawyer and spent over $10,000 in legal fees. Months later, the case was dropped. My brother was innocent, and my dad went above and beyond to clear his name, even ensuring his fingerprints were removed from the police database.

Today, my brother is free to travel with his son for competitive BMX racing and works as a real estate agent—opportunities that would have been impossible with a criminal record. Had my dad not fought when he did, my brother's life would have been forever different.

Lessons Learned

This experience taught me the importance of discernment. Not every challenge requires our attention and energy. Knowing which battles to fight and which to avoid can make a significant difference in our lives and careers.

Application in Daily Life

Consider the simple decision of dealing with a speeding ticket. You have two options:

1. Pay the ticket: This is the best choice when fighting the ticket requires more effort than its value.

2. Fight the ticket: This is advisable when the consequences of not fighting it would disrupt your life's progression more.

This same principle can be applied to more significant challenges in life and business. It's all about weighing the effort against the impact and choosing the path that leads to the most positive outcome.

Addressing My Real Life Challenges With My Dad's Lesson

Seven years ago, I made the decision to leave a personal development company. This company offered courses and programs under a license from the owner. The reason behind my departure was a fundamental misalignment of values with the previous licensee. I didn't believe her approach to leadership resonated with the essence of the courses and programs, so I chose to part ways.

During my exit, there were many hurtful rumors and gossip about my reasons for leaving. I received messages, screenshots and phone calls from former clients and friends sharing what was being said about me. This experience was a true revelation of people's characters and who my real friends were.

Despite the negativity, I refused to engage in the drama. I reminded myself that getting involved in such conflicts wasn't who I am. Not everyone needed to understand me, and I found solace in knowing the difference between genuine friends and mere acquaintances. I remained grateful and chose not to participate in the chaos. My focus was on moving forward, driven by a purpose that didn't include those who indulged in gossip and negativity. My father's wisdom guided me during this time.

Fast forward to 2023, and I had the opportunity to purchase the Intellectual Property for the Courses and Programs. This was an outright purchase, not a license. What a change of events! I like to think that my conduct during my departure played a role in others seeing my value and offering me this honor. Who I am shone through and continues to do so today. Since relaunching these courses and programs, gossip and slander have resurfaced. To add to these issues, there were also lies and attempts to cover them up.

In all circumstances, there exist multiple perceptions: one person's viewpoint, another's interpretation, and the underlying truth. This situation is no exception. Unfortunately, one individual has taken it upon herself to unlawfully disseminate her perception, resulting in defamation and slander directed at me. I refuse to engage in the cycle of accusations and counterclaims; I am not interested in participating in a "he said, she said" scenario. Instead, I choose to focus on the truth and uphold my integrity. The phone calls, screenshots, and messages reignited, but once again, I remained true to my father's advice, using discernment on whether to engage and how to do so if necessary.

To this point, I have not engaged and don't feel a strong calling to. I've once again identified who my true friends are and who I am amidst all the inappropriate behavior directed towards me. What I'm learning as of result of dad's advice is that it's not about how others see you but how you see yourself. I see myself as strong, confident, worthy, and resilient. The criticism, dishonesty, disagreement, and slander have only helped me quickly define who I am rather than letting others define me.

It's How I Perceive My Worth that Defines Me

This journey of discernment has illuminated a profound lesson: it is not how others perceive me that defines my worth, but rather how I view myself. External opinions can often cloud our judgment, leading us to second-guess our abilities and self-image. However, I have come to understand that my perception of myself is paramount. It is my values, my experiences, and my intrinsic qualities that truly shape who I am. Each challenge I encounter serves as a reminder to cultivate self-awareness and self-acceptance.

Thank You for the Gift

I want to take a moment to express my gratitude to those who are not true friends. Your actions and words have inadvertently revealed my true character and strengthened my sense of self. Each dismissal and unkind remark served as a mirror, reflecting the person I refuse to become. I extend a special thank you to my previous boss at the other company, who, through her critiques and misjudgments, revealed facets of my identity I had yet to fully recognize. Without your misguided assessments, I might not have embarked on this experience of self appreciation, love and worth. In this way, I owe part of my growth to the very individuals who sought to undermine me. Your negativity has been a catalyst for my resilience and self-awareness. Thank you for illuminating the path back to my authentic self.

Furthermore, I'm proud to say, my father's lesson has kept me from engaging in he said/she said conflicts on social media. By staying on the high road and focusing on positivity, I honour my past and maintain control over my narrative now and in the future.

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Reflecting on the lessons of discernment imparted by my father further deepens my appreciation for the journey of self-discovery I have undertaken. As I faced criticism and challenges, I drew upon his wisdom in discernment to navigate the murky waters of this situation. This foundation allowed me to recognize a secondary lesson, while others may attempt to define my identity, it is my core values and the lessons learned from my experiences that ultimately reveal my true character. My father's guidance helped me to see that resilience isn't merely about weathering storms but also about standing firm in who I am—learning, evolving, and accepting the full spectrum of my being. In blending these insights, I’ve come to appreciate that my character, forged in the fires of adversity and tempered by my father's lessons, is a reflection of my unwavering commitment to live authentically, regardless of external opinions.

The power of discernment and strategic action cannot be overstated. These skills are crucial for success in both personal and professional life. By learning to identify which battles are worth fighting, we can conserve our energy and focus on what truly matters.

If you're looking to refine your ability to discern and act strategically, remember my dad's wisdom and apply it to your own life. Whether you're a leader, a professional, or someone on a personal development journey, these principles can guide you toward a more focused and successful path.

Let's continue to make informed decisions and engage with purpose. Together, we can create a positive impact and achieve our collective goals. 💪✨